2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Tucson has its own version of traffic rules…hold on and pray. There is no such thing as a dangerous, high-speed chase in Tucson. They all drive like that.

3. All directions start with, “Go down to Ina Rd.”… Which has no beginning and no end.

4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a “Scenic Drive.”

5. The morning rush hour is from 7:00 – 10:00 am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 – 7:00 pm. Friday’s rush hour starts Thursday morning.

6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. When you are the first one off of the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid getting into any cross-traffic’s way.

7. La Cholla Road and La Canada Road can only be pronounced by a native.

8. Construction on I-10, Cortaro Farms Rd., and near the University of Arizona is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.

9. All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, “Oh, we must be in Tucson!!!”

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a defect.

11. All old ladies with blue hair in pink Cadillacs have total right-of-way.

12. The minimum acceptable speed on I-10 is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissy.

13. The wrought iron on windows in south Tucson is NOT ornamental.

14. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, “Keep honking, I’m reloading.” In fact, don’t honk or look at anyone.

15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60-mph zone people are not waving when they go by.

16. Sunrise Rd/Skyline Dr./Ina Rd. is our daily version of NASCAR (and all the same road by the way).

17. There are three Magee Rd.’s in Tucson, and in some places, one of them is called Cortaro, try not to be confused.

18. If you speed in Oro Valley, you WILL get pulled over and you will pay for the rest of your life!

20. One Hardy Rd. is a safe normal road. The other will take you on the edge of a dirt cliff with no guard rail and no way to turn around. Be careful which one you get on!

21. If you are driving and you keep seeing Nico’s Taco Shop, you are not going in circles, there is in fact one on every corner.

22. There are no freeways running through Tucson, just the I-10 to the West, so always expect about a 45-minute drive to go anywhere.

23. If you get pulled over by a cop, make sure it is a real cop and not a gang initiation with fake lights because you will be shot.

24. Drive 45 minutes South and you will hit the Mexico border…turn around, Nogales is nothing special at all!

25. Tangerine Rd. will make you car sick…very bumpy, and lots of dips.

26. The intersection at Oracle and Ina is considered one of the most dangerous intersections in the southwest United States.

27. If the temperature is less than 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next week.

28. If you get a flat, do not ask ANYONE for help. Call AAA and lock your doors.

29. Bored teenagers in Tucson drive around for fun, weird, but watch out.

30. “Cruising Speedway” is a form of entertainment. If you are bored, drive down Speedway for a couple of hours and keep making U-Turns at Wilmot and Alvernon by the Empress Strip Club. Hopefully you will find it exhilarting too. :-)

31. Grant Rd. has been nicknamed “Suicide Lane.” During certain hours of the day, the middle turn lane thingy allows traffic going different ways. Some hours it goes East, some hours it goes West, and other hours it is merely a turning lane. Make sure you know the hours or follow signs so you are not in head-on traffic.Smart, huh?

32. campbell is one of those roads that has no beginning and no end. if you drive down it you will come across over 1000 resturaunts.

33. You remember when the suicide lanes were still actually suicide lanes, and you know what times they changed back and forth.

34. You navigate by a mountain range (ex. the Catalinas for North).

35. You see air force jets more often than you see wild animals.

36. You know not to leave trash where the javelinas can find it.

37. You never need to check the weather because it never really changes.

38. You’ve seen (or put up) Christmas lights on cacti.

39. You know that there’s no sand in the real desert, just dirt and cacti and some shrubs.