To top all that off, I was looking through my grandma’s old photo albums and found sooo many baby pictures of myself. I had to share the best ones.

                       

June 10th: For some reason I had the biggest urge for a random visit to my grandparents’ house. I had worked until 5:30pm that day. At 5:31pm I was on the phone with my grandma asking if it was alright if I stopped by. I told her I would bring dinner. She said “Sure honey I would love if you came to visit”.

It had been a good couple months since I had stopped by. It was always in the back of my mind to go see my grandparents’.. but life distracts you. That night I ended up bringing enough Kentucky Fried Chicken over to feed an army.. it was my grandpa’s favorite. My grandma wasn’t feeling well so I took her a plate upstairs while my grandpa and I ate at the kitchen table. I remember the worried look on his face. In fact.. I will never forget it. He says to me “I don’t know what to do Chessy.” (that was his name for me) and I said “About what poppa?” He turns his head away and says “Grandma.. I don’t know what to do. She says she can’t breathe but she never wants to go to the hospital.” I didn’t really know what to say to comfort him. I hated seeing him upset.. it killed me.

After we finished eating we went upstairs to watch TV with grandma. I got cozy on the recliner and we watched the news. Since age 3 I remember every night I would lay out on the living room floor with my pillow and grandma’s silky white blanket and watch the news with them. I eventually upgraded to the recliner at age 10 or so.

During commercials grandma would mute the TV so we could chit chat. Grandpa had just gotten his brand new drivers license and was especially proud of himself. He decided to call it an early night and go to bed. He kissed us girls goodnight and off he went into the bedroom. Grandma and I stayed up until 11pm or so chatting the night away. She got up to go to the restroom, walked over to me, grabbed my face and told me how pretty I looked that night. She would always comment on how she loves my eye makeup and how eyeliner looks horrible on her. I would always offer to do it for her sometime.

I said goodnight to grandma around 11 that night. She told me to drive safe and call her when I got into my front door because she hated that I lived in an apartment complex and walked in the dark from my car (She even gave me mase a few months prior).

I went home that night feeling so good. I always cherished my visits with them. Hell.. I would spend weekends at their house until I was 18 years old. It was until I moved out of my parents’ house and got a job that I barely got to see them. But seeing them that night, just on a whim, made me so happy.

I got to work the next day and found an email from my Uncle Randy. It said grandma was rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night and was put in intensive care. He was catching a flight from Massechusetts into Tucson. I thought to myself “What? I was just over there last night?” I left work early that day to go to the hospital. My family (particularly my mother) weren’t exactly on speaking terms with me, but I didn’t care whatsoever. I walked into that hospital all by myself and completely separated myself from the bullshit.

I stepped into the ICU room. My grandpa, cousins, mother, uncles and aunts.. everyone was in there. I got close to the bed and held my grandma’s hand. She had an oxygen mask on and was barely concious. She looked over to me and just lit up. She said “Chelsey hey baby” in her weak little voice. It was one of the only things she said the entire week she was in the hospital. I couldn’t help but start crying. It killed me to see her like that. My grandpa was on the other side of her.. holding her other hand with all his might.

She stayed in the hospital for about a week before she passed. I spent every single day there with her. My grandpa never left her side.. bless his heart. He slept in a cott on the side of her hospital bed with her hand in his. 55 years of marraige really does something to your soul.

The day before she died.. all of my family members attended a meeting in the hospital about taking her machine off and what-not. I stayed behind with her. She wasn’t concious because of all the medication she was on. But I didn’t care. I just wanted to be with her one-on-one with nobody else in the room. I needed that time and I’m so glad I was able to have it. I sang all of the songs to her that she taught me when I was little. “I’m in love with the man in the moon” was one of our favorites. And “All aboard to blanket bay” was another. But “Jerusalem” was definitely OUR song. She taught me that song when I was 7 or 8 and we sang it together constantly. We would always serenade grandpa with our songs. It felt so good to be able to sing to her at that moment. I guess that was my way of saying goodbye.

June of 2005 was the saddest month of my life. Just 5 days later.. my Grandpa Dewey passed away. It was June 19th, which was not only his birthday, but Father’s Day as well. The doctors claimed it was either a blood clot or a heart attack. But I know it was because he couldn’t take the pain. He died of a broken heart. The woman he loved for 55 years was in heaven and he needed to be reunited with her. It was a bittersweet feeling.

I blogged in detail about the whole ordeal two years ago. It hurts too bad to look through my archives and read about it. To this day I can’t think about them without crying. I loved them more then life. Losing them was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to accept. I can only be thankful that I was able to spend that last night with them.. just hours before my grandma was admitted into the hospital. God works in mysterious ways doesn’t he?

Besides the extra web design work, life is chugging along as usual. My parents finally have their divorce settled this week, on Friday. I hope things go well for my dad, as we all know what a lying bitch my mom can be. I’m still not allowed to speak to or see my brother and sister. I assume that won’t change until they get older and can make their own decisions. They know I love them and will always be here waiting for them with open arms.

OH FUNNY STORY TIME!!!!!!!! So Mikey wikey decided that he wanted to camp out in front of best buy this morning to start a line for the PlayStation 3 which is released FRIDAY. Yes, today is Monday. That means he wants to wait 5 fucking days out in front of a store. Okay anyways.. so we go at 6am this morning to get my dad’s RV for him to have a place to shit in and whatnot, go and get him sodas and munchies for his ice chest, chairs, blankets, etc. We get to Best Buy and set everything up. I’m just about to drive off to work when this PRICK ASS FUCK HOLE employee of the store comes outside with a chip on his shoulder (because apparantly you are THE SHIT if you work at a deadend place like Best Buy making $6.50 an hour). He rudely tells us to get off “his private property” and that he would be calling the cops if we didn’t. I was like W to the T to the F?

Since getting arrested wasn’t on my morning agenda, we packed the ish up and took off. Mikey wikey is very sad. He is on the phone with Best Buy’s coorporate office as we speak, hahah. Good times.

I can’t randomly drive up to the house anymore, crawl over the gate and cry on the porch. It used to be my favorite place in the whole wide world.. I’ve written school papers about my love for that house. There used to be so much love inside it. I grew up there, my height marks are etched on the hallway walls. I had weekend sleepovers there up until I was 18 years old. And it never changed. Whenever I needed to get away from life, I called grandma and grandpa and told them I’d be over in 20 minutes. My grandma and I would stay up until 5AM playing board games and eating junk food. God I miss those days. The best memorys of my life took place in that house, and I will forever cherish them. Hopefully the family who purchased it will cherish it just the same.